I have a friend who has been very private about his dating life. Very private. I have known him for over ten years, but whenever me or someone else from our friendship group has asked about his dating life he has either gone quiet or thrown a joke. A couple…
The depression lifted slowly. Like heavy curtains slowly being opened, letting the sun in. Letting the sun slowly warming my skin again.
The heavy curtains were there for months. They were dark and dusty. They removed the colours from my life. Those months are documented in texts from last winter…
Me and my flatmate sit at the dinner table eating the delicious food she has cooked for me. She says something and I burst out into a random song with lyrics matching what she just said, just as a joke. “Oh I love you!” she says while laughing. I pause…
I don’t fully understand. Why do my exes need to block me? I have never desperately called someone time after time in a disturbing way. I have not contacted them frequently, but when I do my words must just be a painful reminder of happier days. …
The thoughts just creep in, closer and closer
until they feel true.
I was once deeply loved, but I cheated on him. I deserve to be lonely.
I had a job could have made me happy and proud. I fucked it up. I deserve to have a horrible career.
The self-hatred has taken over with complete control.
I regret that I changed plans last minute.
It’s not the first time I am paralysed by choice, and then knocked over by regret.
I regret that I gave up on a unique chance to work with my friends.
I regret that I let a big name blind me.
I regret that I picked narrow over broad skills.
I regret that I was a douchebag who pulled out of a promise at the last minute.
I am burning with raging regret.